Politicians Kill Metaphors

Perhaps what we really need is a Constitutional amendment stating that if a politician ever waxes poetic they get booted out of office instantly. Somehow, the humanistic arts, benevolent shows of creativity and wit, get twisted into campaign dramas. It just isn’t right.

So some clown called Boehner who, according to wikipedia, actually passed his name on to his children, rose up to occupy a high Republican pedestal on account of all the other Republican politicians were smart enough to keep clear of it. And this guy makes some remark that the stimulus money is like killing an ant with a nuclear bomb. See what I mean, this is poetry to these guys. Blunt, crass, and inappropriate. Should be booted.

But before we boot him let’s consider his metaphor for a moment. Stimulus packages from all origins over the past five years were a poor idea to fix a natural problem that plunged us into worse debt than we have ever known. Killing an ant with a nuclear bomb would be a waste of expensive material, cause more harm than good, and the same effect could be accomplished by letting the ant walk into a field of Off Chalk.

Maybe my original analysis was wrong. Blunt and crass, sure, but perhaps more appropriate than we all thought.

But my eyeing his metaphor critically is hardly overreacting, that’s just what I do.

What would be overreacting? Remember, this is a politician speaking, and no matter who you are, there is always someone to stomp. So Barack Obama, whose dignity always falls second to his opportunism, picks up these words and turns them into a bat with which to swat at a high-ranking member of the opposition party.

Can you believe it? he says, This Republican thinks that the economic crisis is an ant. A tiny little ant. How out of touch can he be? He must not understand you people, like I understand you. This metaphor demonstrates that my policies are superior because I can use someone else’s words against them.

And for a moment, Carl Rove smiled.

It was one thing when a Republican conceived of an ill metaphor. It was another when the President took that metaphor and made everyone dumber.

Do you really think the Republican thinks the economic crisis is the size of an ant? Or did it simply fit his comparison well? Do you think he’s out of touch? Any more out of touch than you or anyone else in Washington? I’ll tell you who’s out of touch, and that’s anyone letting this President do their thinking for them.

I hope there are so many more bad examples of this so that when someone intelligent pops up, we won’t even hear the brainless attacks against them.